Tuesday, January 24, 2012


Love is enough.

Caring about someone almost as much as you care about yourself is not enough.

The problem with modern life is we tend to confuse the two.

Here's a few tips for helping figure it out:
1. If you think he should always forgive you for saying hurtful things when you are angry at him.  Because, after all, it's pretty hard to control yourself when you're mad and people say stupid stuff when they are mad all the time.

That's not love.

2.  If you can get angry without wanting to hurt because you would never hurt him.

That's love.

Yesterday I read a Facebook post from a young woman who's long term relationship just ended.  She was understandably devastated.  I have no idea what ended the relationship or how healthy the relationship had been.  I was bothered by her post, however.  She basically made a claim that everyone says stupid hurtful things in a fight with someone you love.  That such behavior is common and therefore always forgivable.   He couldn't have loved her enough because he couldn't forgive whatever it was that was said in the last fight.

I feel for the young lady.  I'm not saying she was in the wrong in the relationship, because I don't know the circumstances.  Honestly, I don't care. It's none of my business and I wish her well in the future.

I will say her post was wrong.  Not everyone behaves like that when they argue.  Not everyone finds such behavior acceptable.  It is not the behavior of mature, loving adults.

So I worry about her.  I worry about the teenage girls she's friends with who saw that post and believed it.  I worry about all the women who commented on her post basically telling her she was right.  That everything said in a fight is always forgivable.

We have these modern examples of romantic movies with absolutely horrible relationship patterns.  They meet.   They fall in love.  They have some stupid big, horrible fight with absolutely horrible things said to one another.  They make up and everything is hunky dory again.  Happily Ever After.  Same story in romance books.  There's this idea that big horrible fights equal passion in a relationship.  And hey,  who doesn't want passion?

I'm not saying that loving couples never argue.  Of course, they do.  They just control their tongues.  They don't say things to hurt each other.  They can disagree without being horrible to each other.  This is real.  This is the way it should work.

I'm rambling.  I guess I was bothered by that post because it's such a pervasive idea in American life.  It worries me.  I try to teach my children, but what will their spouses believe? Will my sons have to put up with that kind of crap (or think they should put up with it)? Will my daughters?  I don't know.  I don't think this issue will keep me up at nights, but it was bothering me enough that I felt the need to write these things down, to structure them, to send them out "into the void."

I don't know everything.  Some days I don't feel I know very much at all.  I do know Love is enough.  But it has to be love.   Caring is never enough to get us through.  Life is hard.  Life needs true love.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Family Pictures

We try to do family pictures every year.  Some years they come out fabulous.  And some years I just want to wring a few necks. ;)

This year I got two photos I love:

We were trying to fit in pictures at the end of the day, so there wasn't a lot of light.  My aperture was waaaaaay open and the shutter was a teensy bit too slow.   But I love these.  Worth the trip.

I also captured this series.  Cracks me up.
I think I need to print that one.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

What Comes With a Name Change

So Libby has decided to be Beth.   She informed me of this in a very off hand manner on Thursday afternoon.   It's been interesting.  She still very much responds to Libby, but she grins and blushes when we remember to call her Beth. 

I asked her yesterday if she had told her friends at school and her teacher that she wanted to be called Beth now.  She said no.  She would just stay Libby at school and be Beth at home. 

"Why do want to be Beth at home and Libby at school?" I asked.

"Because you're my family." She answered. "My family listens to me."

That made me smile.  I'm glad she feels listened to and loved.  : )

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Someday we'll get that pj thing figured out

Matt went to sleep in his clothes . . . again.

Including shoes and socks.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Truth Comes Out

Yesterday Sarah brought home book 7 of the Artemis Fowl series. She was very excited to finally get to read it. Joshua just shrugged his shoulders "yeah, I read it last month."

"what??" Sarah was shocked.

"I got to read it first from our library," said Joshua.

"Did you bring it home?"


"And you didn't let me read it?" Sarah was horrified.


"I disown you!" she cried.

"Sarah," I said, "you've been trying to disown him for 12 years."

"Yeah, but this time he deserves it!"

Tuesday, October 05, 2010


That should be my nick name. I'm very afraid that the slow water leak from my washer has turned into a not so slow leak. I've been ignoring that leak for months and it's not returning the favor by magically fixing itself. So rude.

There are several reasons why I would ignore a leak in my washer hoses: I don't want to be without a washer for even a day, I'm trying not to think about the cost, the hassle of figuring out what part is bad and ordering it off the internet. But mostly because that leak is a betrayal.

You would not believe what I went through for that washer.

Six months ago my washer went out. It was purchased used and not so hot in the first place, so yeah, pretty expected, although frustrating. I just love pulling a batch of towels out of an undrained washer tub, don't you?

We examined the finances and decided that yet once again we would have to buy another used washer. Joy. I was frustrated. The last one was supposed to die right around tax time so I could justify getting a fancy front loader. The betrayer failed one month later after all the tax money was spent and I had bought new appliances for the kitchen instead.

So we found a guy on Craigslist offering used washers with a warranty! Yeah! I sent Steve off to pick it up on a very busy day. He installed it so I could do my laundry and we discovered the thing didn't work. At all. Not even one freaking load. By this time I had been without a washer for nearly a week. With seven people in the house and me with only five days worth of underwear. It was fun!

I took laundry to my mom's and Steve called the guy back. He was so sorry! He'd have a new washer for us immediately! He'd bring it to us! Right away!

Never freaking showed up. Appointment after appointment missed. No working washer.

I reminded my husband that a friend had offered me a washer for free but we would have to repair it. It was a simple, inexpensive repair, but we would have to get parts online for it.

I was starting week two without a washer.

We got my friend's washer. Rush ordered parts, installed them and yea! I had a working washer! I was so happy I even helped my husband carry the monster down the stairs to the basement. It was a Front Loader. I was more than happy, I was joyous. I happily sang as I washed my laundry.

So when I discovered the wet spot on my laundry room floor right in front of the washer really wasn't drying out, I ignored it.

Wouldn't you?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

A walk on the river

We went to the greenbelt on the river this evening. The leaves were just right and the walk was exactly what we needed.

I took a few pictures. It was nice to have my camera back in my hand. I haven't been so good at taking pictures in the last few months. It's sad really.

Yes I threw a midnight sepia filter on this one. I couldn't help myself. I'm a tasteless girl who loves midnight sepia even though it's totally out of style now.We were getting ready to head back and I turned around and saw this:
"what are you doing, Libby?"
"how come?"
"Because I wanted to think about Jesus."
Isn't she the sweetest thing ever?
The picture above is Steve and Sarah waiting for a leaf to fall. They were trying to catch them. Sarah eventually managed it.